Category: Writers Block
Angel bright, confined in your ivory tower,
Virgin flesh for rich kings to devour,
Bound by fate and tethered in time,
A prisoner wrought in fortune's treacherous rhyme --
Knights are born and sent to warring fields,
Sowing a harvest of death upon broken shields,
Garbed in bronze and leather from head to toe,
But none to be your hero -- thus be your woe.
'Round your spire the world ever turns,
Above your cage the sun ever burns,
By your narrow window feathered birds dart,
Rejoicing in the freedom you want a part;
Peasants toil near in fields of golden wheat,
A mass of scurrying ants at your fortress feet,
Together they might forge your freedom, Broken Wing,
But for the bonds that tie them to Jailer King.
Locked in your prison, hatred breeds,
A garden of horror borne by cruel seeds,
Flowering Heather turns to bramble and thorn,
Radiant dresses become rags faded and torn.
From your lofty cell despair exudes,
From smooth ivory fangs of hate protrude,
Upon the breeze rides the nether chill of death,
Cold, lifeless fingers to steal a traveler's breath.
Within the debris of your battered, broken soul,
From the remnants of something once pure and whole,
Comes a weather storm of chaos and fear,
A transformation of something beautiful, without peer.
Angel turns to horrendous nightmare queen,
Corruption consumes virgin once humble and serene,
A Heather blossom to brighten some lover's entryway,
Now a thicket of death, yearning for lover prey.
A prison crumbles, a tower falls.
A banshee screams in castle halls.
A tether breaks, a monarch screams.
A phantom haunts a royal's dreams.
An angel dies, a demon's born.
A senseless horror from maiden's madness torn.
A Heather wilts, a brier thrives.
A ceaseless destroyer of royal lives.
Oh maiden sweet, once you were,
Find your knight and your saviour.
Together, vanquish the madness you bear,
And find serenity beneath the despair.
Kai
I personally don't think this is one of my better writings. I really needed to lay this one down, though. I've been struggling for an addition to my Brittle Buds and Blossoms series for a long time. I'm just hoping this one will suffice.
The rhymes in some passages are rather loose, I know. If you notice, the third line of every stanza *should* have a word that rhymes with Heather in it. Yes, that includes words with plurals and modified tenses.
Kai
Well, it's very nice, though. Very vivid. I like it!
I somehow never saw this, which is why I'm posting to it now. While I agree that it's not your best effort, I also agree with Iris. I do like it, and it is as vivid and imageful as your writing's always are. The rhyme doesn't seem that bad to me either, although there are places where it doesn't seem to flow quite right, but as we've established, I hate rhyming myself and am eternally envious of those who can do it with any success, so I'm not exactly a rhyming authority. It's quite nice. End ramble.
Kai, I often find your writing too complex and too dark for my liking, this however is really good. It doesn't flow quite in some spots, and almost feels like some sentences are too long, but I'm a non poet, so probably talking rot. However, thanks.
Wraith,
What marvelous a Writing Style you have.
~*Thunderous MidNight*~
hey ki! what a great job. smile! i like it a lot. but we all know your good at writing. so i don't need to tell you that. keep it up.
I never read anything before that wrote but I liked this.
Wow, entrancing!